My to do list.

[parkinsn]

1) Wear a shirt that says "Life." Hand out lemons on the street corner

2) Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other

3) Major in philosophy. Ask people WHY they would like fries with that

4) Go into crowded elevator and say, "I bet you're all wondering why I have gathered you here," with a straight face

5) Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public

6) Become a teacher. Make a test where every answer is "C" Enjoy the show

7) Wait until someone is about to sneeze. Right before they do, loudly scream "PIKA PIKAAAA"

8) Run into a store, ask what year it is. When someone answers, yell "It worked" and run out cheering

9) Buy a horse, name it "Oscar takes the lead" enter it in horse races

10) Invite someone into your office, turn around in office chair and say, "I've been expecting you..."

11) Change name to Simon. Speak in third person

12) Become a doctor. Change last name to Acula

13) Buy a parrot. Teach it to say, "Help! I've been turned into a parrot."

14) Follow joggers around in a car blasting "Eye of the Tiger" for encouragement