if anyone is curious, i found the problem at least on my network.
since unplugging the unit somehow my range of available IPs changed.
The begnning IP was somehow 192.168.1.64 and my apex was always the 192.168.1.50 which is how it comes factory.
On my modem I adjusted the range to start at 192.168.1.1 and voila I am out of bootloader mode.
now i just need to accomplish the same on my friends home network.
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