Quote:
Originally Posted by toytech
knew that , didn't even have to watch it to figure it out.
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Ah yes, well allow me to paint a picture for emphasis (SPOILE... I mean read this so you don't have to waste your time/money):
1. The trailers are a lie. Heisenberg isn't even remotely close to being a main character. In fact, he's toast maybe 15 minutes into the movie.
2. The actual protagonist, Kicka5s, has basically zero defining characteristics. Here's what we know about him:
A. He thinks his father is cuckoo for fufu.
B. He was a bomb tech in the army.
C. He has a family.
Other than that, he's a clean slate. Nonetheless, the plot feels entitled to thrusting him into every major conflict and resolution of the film. And when I mean every major conflict, I actually mean every major AND minor conflict. This character has literally zero qualifications for being endowed with the security clearances, responsibilities, and insights that the story would have you believe. I honestly don't even know why he's fighting the monsters instead of coming home straight away to spirit his family to safety!
3. The internal logic goes something like this:
Or rather, it makes about that much sense.
Why didn't he tell his family to book it from the epicenter of destruction when given ample opportunity?
Why does it take Godzilla fifty tries to kill the bugs? Where were the disengagements?
Why were the organisms Earth-based terrestrial animals instead of, oh, I dunno, Aliens or interdimensional Ponies? Trying to tie together the anatomy and evolutionary relations between implausible monsters and existing faunas in a single throwaway line is profoundly lazy.
Why do they feed on radiation? And given that they do, what does Godzilla eat? Cuz he sure as hell didn't eat the MUTO's. Yah, seriously, he just works them at the end, takes a nap and peaces out!
"Yah bros, sorry bout your city, took care of the bugs for y'all though, PAAAAAAAYYYYCE OUT HOMMIES!"
Why is Kicka5s's (inadequately explained and not even remotely inspired) personal agenda so tantamount to the success of an entire worldwide military operation?
Why do they keep on sending jetplanes against MUTOs 1 & 2 despite their known ability to drop them out of the sky with EMP's?
Why didn't Kicka5s speak Japanese to the little boy who clearly didn't understand him despite having been raised in Japan for his entire childhood?
How did the dog escape the tidal wave whilst being tied to a pole during its approach?
Speaking of Tidal Waves, how did a monster with a body volume no larger than a medium skyrise manage to create a tidal wave that dwarfed those produced by major Earthquakes?
And suspending my belief for a moment (because I really should give the movie the benefit of the doubt), why does Godzilla, who is easily twice the size and volume of the MUTO's not produce an even more significant Tsunami when he leaves the scene of the engagement at the end of the movie?
I could go on. And honestly, I feel that the answers to most of these questions can be uttered in a few words:
"Why? Because F--K YOU! Thx for the views and $$$." Seriously, this movie was inane to the max and was written by morons with no appreciation nor aptitude for even basic story writing.
And no, it wasn't obvious to me from the trailers that the movie would be such a steaming pile of rubbish. The trailer and marketing campaign was deftly handled and I was excited. It's easy to be a cynic. I wanted to go see a fun movie and the promotional material instilled me with a modicum of confidence. Woe betide me for my optimism.