Quote:
Originally Posted by jorjef
Sounds like one bad decision, and if that's all it is hopefully the discipline dished out will realign his thinking. If you and your other don't feel it's enough take away the most important thing he has, a car, video games, sports etc. It doesn't need to be forever but make it sting. I always drive home big time and I mean big time reversing the situation, put him in the victims shoes and talk about how this has effected the victim. Starting in a normal talking tone, escalating volume and intensity, if they are arguing back. You need to drive the point home and ultimately if he refuses to understand smash something of his right in front of him. He will soon understand as a final insult make him clean it up. This sounds like it may border on mental cruelty but if you guys are loving and supportive parents the other 99 percent of the time it will be a good reminder for him if he decides to make another bad decision anytime soon.
Now if there was any doubt in anyone's mind before this I'm sure it will confirm to them that yes I am a little nuts  |
This is actually how my dad raised me. He was very hot headed. My mom was the complete opposite. Very calm and understanding. Unfortunately, or fortunately (depending on how you look at it), my dad dished out the discipline, military style. Needless to say, I learned all manner of respect for him and for anyone that I happened to have wronged, very quickly. And trust me, I hung out with some bad apples. Some of them arrested for B&Es, gang violence, etc. I was in a few situations where I could have easily been involved. Hey, let's go break into this house! Ya, that does sound kinda fun.. but wait.. my dad would rip me a new one. Hmm.. I think I'll pass.
Having said all that, I am now in my dad's situation and having to teach respect and discipline to my children. I think that my principles are similar to his, but my approach and methods are not the same. I won't hit him or break his stuff but I let him know very sternly that what he did was wrong and he needs to be disciplined. At this point I can get away with removing things that he cherishes like his favourite toys and foods and activities. This always does the trick. Who knows, as he grows up things may change :-)