Quote:
Originally Posted by jorjef
Starting in a normal talking tone, escalating volume and intensity, if they are arguing back. You need to drive the point home and ultimately if he refuses to understand smash something of his right in front of him. He will soon understand as a final insult make him clean it up. This sounds like it may border on mental cruelty but if you guys are loving and supportive parents the other 99 percent of the time it will be a good reminder for him if he decides to make another bad decision anytime soon.
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Sorry, to me that's ridiculous. If he starts arguing, you lower your tone. Introduce some uncomfortable silence. Escalating the situation with him is just going to go from bad to worse. Then you smash something?? Seriously? The example we're trying to set as parents is yell louder than kid and smash stuff? Wow.
Now I can see where you think this might work, perhaps a TV show portrayed it as a good strategy. I tried this once 10 years ago. My child then punched me in the face, ran away from home and became addicted to meth. I'm going to suggest that the strategy was not overly successful. You will not yell a teenager into submission.
This kid needs direction. Work with him to decide, together, the best approach to eliminate the behaviour. See what he thinks might work, once he's honestly agreeing it's poor behaviour. If he likes to fight, maybe organized fighting. Put him in some fight training, with the rule that fighting happens at class or in the ring. Outside the ring has consequences. Help him build goals that he sees as important, so that achieving the goal outweighs the choices to behave poorly. Sit down and talk to him as a person, and find out what drives this from his point of view. So many better options than yelling him into submission.
My random thought for the day..