It must be terribly hard for you
I send my condolences your way, even though I have never met you, or Chris.
My sister died of cancer 4 years ago - and the day after her memorial service, my brother was killed in a farm accident. Doesn't give me the right to give you advice - but I do know a little about grief, and the mourning process you are going through.
Whenever it got really really bad for me - I focused on one thought - I never lost my sister and brother....I gained two angels to watch over me.
You did not lose Chris. You love him and he loves you and watches over you, and you have a great angel to guide you when you need it.
Take care.
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