Getting tired... Considering shut down

[paddyob]

I love my tank, and can't imagine life without it, but I'm tired.

Between flying lessons and my wife being pregnant, just not sure how this can work much longer.

So many Renos to complete with little knowledge = stress.

Ugh.

I hate this thought. I have two months to figure it out.....

Anyone have some positive advice cause I'm losing my mind.

[Aquattro]

I did this once, hated not having a tank, and it cost me a lot of money and stress rebuilding my setup. Try to minimize the work you put in for a while, set aside a block of time for just looking at it every night with a good stiff drink :)

[Nate]

Most expensive baby toy in my house... but well worth it.

Bably cant sleep in those first few months? take out your durso or herbie and let the water noise put him or her to sleep...

Throw in a wavebox for some white noise on the overflow.

Seriously, our tank was a lifesaver on those sleepless nights at first.

Nate

[Reef Pilot]

Between flying lessons and my wife being pregnant, just not sure how this can work much longer.


Learning how to fly is a major commitment, and requires focus and patience (similar to keeping CB's:smile:). Sounds like you may have too many things on your plate right now.

I am a pilot (as should be obvious with my forum ID), and have an instructor's rating, too. Unfortunately, I know more people that start flying lessons than finish. It's not like learning how to drive a car. And the flying schools will happily take your money, and they don't want you to learn too quickly either (bad for business).

When people tell me they want to learn how to fly, I first ask why, then what they expect it will take to complete your PPL. I actually try to discourage them at first, because in most cases, they have totally unrealistic expectations.

Having said that, flying can also be a very rewarding (not financially) obsession (similar to reef keeping). And if you do indeed get hooked, well, then it was meant to be...

[jorjef]

I don't know much about your system but maybe there is the possibilty in reducing it to as low maintance as possible. Sell your less than tolerant corals to avoid disappointment is they start heading south because you don't have the extra the time for the tank. Just minimize your system to low maintanence until you feel up to changing it back. Less fish, less corals, less stress.

[toxic111]

I don't know what I would do with out my tank, & I am not as picky as some of you on here. I keep it pretty low key, that said, once my upgrade is complete I am sure it will be more work & $$.

I have my PPL as well, it took me a couple years to get it, but for awhile it was one or 2 lessons a month, then 1 a week until I was done. Now after a baby in the house & building a house the $$ were not there for flying. Been 2 years since I got any stick time. Ahhh, I need to some air time, but the new tank will come first.

[paddyob]

I'm almost done my private. Just perfecting circuit. Sitting at about 40 hrs.

Should have my ppl by may//June.

Then onto commercial. It's my childhood dream.

I fly twice a week. And at $1000-1300 a month. Sheez. Reef tanks are my CHEAP hobbies. Lol.

Edmonton flying club is great.

I appreciate the insight. Flying is a top priority. And when weather cancels, it sucks.


Learning how to fly is a major commitment, and requires focus and patience (similar to keeping CB's:smile:). Sounds like you may have too many things on your plate right now.

I am a pilot (as should be obvious with my forum ID), and have an instructor's rating, too. Unfortunately, I know more people that start flying lessons than finish. It's not like learning how to drive a car. And the flying schools will happily take your money, and they don't want you to learn too quickly either (bad for business).

When people tell me they want to learn how to fly, I first ask why, then what they expect it will take to complete your PPL. I actually try to discourage them at first, because in most cases, they have totally unrealistic expectations.

Having said that, flying can also be a very rewarding (not financially) obsession (similar to reef keeping). And if you do indeed get hooked, well, then it was meant to be...

[Lampshade]

One thing to look at is if you enjoy the maintenance or not. I've got a chaotic life right now that doesn't allow much time for anything at all, but the small amount of time I do get to spend on my tank I find relaxing. Recovering from crashes or just silly water changes, gets me some time to myself.

[Aquattro]

One thing to look at is if you enjoy the maintenance or not. I've got a chaotic life right now that doesn't allow much time for anything at all, but the small amount of time I do get to spend on my tank I find relaxing. Recovering from crashes or just silly water changes, gets me some time to myself.

This pretty much sums up my life :)

[kien]

Anyone have some positive advice cause I'm losing my mind.

It sounds to me like you could use some Vodka dosing. Or increase your dosing rate if you are already dosing. Perhaps try other sources as well. Just be careful of which ones you mix together.

[paddyob]

It sounds to me like you could use some Vodka dosing. Or increase your dosing rate if you are already dosing. Perhaps try other sources as well. Just be careful of which ones you mix together.

Yes. Today I can use some vodka.

[paddyob]

I don't know what I would do with out my tank, & I am not as picky as some of you on here. I keep it pretty low key, that said, once my upgrade is complete I am sure it will be more work & $$.

I have my PPL as well, it took me a couple years to get it, but for awhile it was one or 2 lessons a month, then 1 a week until I was done. Now after a baby in the house & building a house the $$ were not there for flying. Been 2 years since I got any stick time. Ahhh, I need to some air time, but the new tank will come first.


I hate a weekend without my Diamond 20. Depressing.

My wife supports this hobby ... Flying... 100%. I will be student loaning it after I complete my ppl. She sees it as university education as my plan is to go commercial. So time off flying is not possible.

[lastlight]

One thing to look at is if you enjoy the maintenance or not. I've got a chaotic life right now that doesn't allow much time for anything at all, but the small amount of time I do get to spend on my tank I find relaxing. Recovering from crashes or just silly water changes, gets me some time to myself.

Currently I'm having to spend a lot more time in my fishroom than watching the actual tank. But I can't hear ANYTHING going on in the house when I'm in there so it is indeed a nice break even if I'm scrubbing something etc.

[Reef Pilot]

Flying is a top priority.
OK, if that's indeed the case, then carry on, and best of luck.

And hate to say this, but maybe you should put reef keeping aside for a while. You can always come back to it later, and am sure you will. You can only have so many "top priorities".

I was into fish and aquariums (FW initially with lots of tanks) ever since I was a kid, and then had to give it up also because I had too much on my plate. In my case, it was my job that consumed me (had to travel a lot, too). But I came back, and enjoying it more than ever now, especially with the SW.

[cordeiro]

We shut down our tank a year ago due to too much on our plate, husband was working everyday (runs his own company) and I was pregnant for our 3rd baby it was great to not
Have the stress of the tank as it was definetly going down hill and we were losing things left right and center..... It was the best decision at the time however we are starting up a small set up again as things have cooled down in this house hold!
But I believe if you don't have the time and or energy for it the best thing for it would be to shut down for a bit even if it's just getting rid of your life stock if you do plan to be away and come back

[Delphinus]

First kid? It's normal to have a few nervous jitters looking forward. Congratulations, BTW.

Truth is though, it's not bad. With kids in the picture, everyone finds their own groove. Yeah, juggling a family with interests and income earning/gotta-feed-the-family and etc. etc. can be challenging at times, but truthfully if something is important enough to you, then you'll find a way. And besides, there's plenty of time to sleep later. :lol:

It is funny though, because in a way, sometimes when your plate gets too full, you can come to realizing ways to shift priorities. And taking a break need be nothing more than .. actually just taking a break and coming back to things when the timing is better.

[kien]

What do you do to your tank on a:

Daily basis: ?
Weekly basis: ?
Monthlybasis: ?

[paddyob]

What do you do to your tank on a:

Daily basis: ?
Weekly basis: ?
Monthlybasis: ?

I keep it simple.

Top ups with dosing 2-3 times week.

Daily glass.

Weekly skimmer.

W/C 4-6 weeks.

Just noticing 3 Aiptasia in my tank. And no desire to do what I have in the past... Kill them.

Just feeling over whelmed and exhausted these days. Kinda depressing thinking about all this.

A shut down would kill my spirit. Just tired.

[toxic111]

I hate a weekend without my Diamond 20. Depressing.

My wife supports this hobby ... Flying... 100%. I will be student loaning it after I complete my ppl. She sees it as university education as my plan is to go commercial. So time off flying is not possible.

Trust me I miss the time in the air. Got time in the C172, C182 & PA-28. Have though going to Ed for a couple weekends & getting my multi in the Twin Star there.

I am hoping to get back flying this year, depends on a couple factors, plus I am trying to put together a trip to Africa next year.

Flying for me is just a hobby, I have no plans to do my commercial at this time. My brother has his PPL as well with multi. He was working on his commerical IFR and just ran out of $$. Now driving truck & making more $$ than he would have for several years. I do have one friend that is flying 767's for AC though out of Vancouver.

[paddyob]

Trust me I miss the time in the air. Got time in the C172, C182 & PA-28. Have though going to Ed for a couple weekends & getting my multi in the Twin Star there.

I am hoping to get back flying this year, depends on a couple factors, plus I am trying to put together a trip to Africa next year.

Flying for me is just a hobby, I have no plans to do my commercial at this time. My brother has his PPL as well with multi. He was working on his commerical IFR and just ran out of $$. Now driving truck & making more $$ than he would have for several years. I do have one friend that is flying 767's for AC though out of Vancouver.




Yea the twin star is awesome! I love it! But $330/hr. Shizzle! Can't wait to fly it.

[toxic111]

What are you paying for the DA-20 Wet?

[paddyob]

What are you paying for the DA-20 Wet?

Not sure what you mean by wet, but I pay $152/hr + $60/hr for the
Instructor.

If by wet, you mean fuel, yes, included in rental rate.

[toxic111]

Yet, wet means with fuel.. lol

Not too cheap on the DA-20... but then again I haven't rented in a couple yrs.. the C182 was $179+fuel surcharge Wet then..

[paddyob]

Yet, wet means with fuel.. lol

Not too cheap on the DA-20... but then again I haven't rented in a couple yrs.. the C182 was $179+fuel surcharge Wet then..

Yea. The 152s are about $125.

The 172 is about $170

Link to rates

http://edmontonflyingclub.com/prospective_rental.php

No other charges.

Price changes with fuel costs.

[Coleus]

Looks like you are having lots of things going on so for me, I would not enjoy much (or even hate it) of SW if there are so many important things that are so important to do.

Priority your stuff and have a SW tank when it actually brings joys instead of hell :-)

My three cent

[lockrookie]

with being a new daddy of two and work and tanks i was over whelmed as well at first but 6 months later i now building a new tank lol. as others have said keep it simple. my daughters get fussy we point thentowards teh tank and they are calm they love it. it has saved my sanity numerous times.

main thing is do what is best for you. no one knows you like you.

[Snappy]

Sounds like it's time to automate your system. Mine is all auto from feeding fish to dosing & top off. Saves time so you can spend more time playing. I just switched over to the Fauna Marin balling set up so evrything including trace elements is all automated - works great.

[paddyob]

Sounds like it's time to automate your system. Mine is all auto from feeding fish to dosing & top off. Saves time so you can spend more time playing. I just switched over to the Fauna Marin balling set up so evrything including trace elements is all automated - works great.

Those auto upgrades might interfere with the flying costs.

And as someone said in another thread of mine...

If you go with fancy gadgets, you are better to buy the best and forget the cheaper stuff. Cheaper = lower quality = more issues and more finicky.

ATO I don't trust at all.

Already using auto feeder. Last year. I love it. Controlled feeding.

I hear yah. Just hard to justify the cost if you know what I mean.

[SeaHorse_Fanatic]

Well, some experienced reefer friends with kids told me that before my first girl (Felicia) was born, get the tank all ready to survive on auto-pilot for 6 to 9 months. I did some big water changes and then yeah, it took us about that amount of time after the baby was born to catch up on the maintenance and stuff again. Recently, went for about a year's sabbatical where my tanks were just maintained (even regressed) and I ended up downsizing. Eventually, several months after the 2nd baby, my interest peaked again and I have been back at it hard and heavy.

Based on my work schedule, I do 50-100g (1 or 2 barrels) water changes every 3 months or so. I'm getting out of sps and going mostly LPS which are happier with the water quality I maintain than most sps. Ultimately, I will probably just have a big purple valida/bonzai-type acro and a red cap as my main sps and everything else will be LPS and softies. I try to keep my system reasonable simple and low maintenance. Got a good skimmer (SWC Extreme 200) that pulls out lots of gunk but upgrading to a Deltec Recirc so that will do an even better job IMO.

So, yeah, its hard to balance a very busy life but your kid will love the tank, so maybe sell off your most finicky livestock (particularly sps) and if it gets too busy and you have a good skimmer, its should NOT be too bad to extend the time between water changes. I've gone up to 9 months when my first was born.

Downsizing is an option, but it sounds like you don't have the time or energy to do something major like that.

Congrats on your first. My kids are the best part of my life (Irene feels the same way so I'm not in trouble for posting this). Lots of work, lots of lost sleep, but wouldn't give the chance to be a dad for anything.

Peace,

Anthony

[Nano]

All I have to say is if you shut down you shut down. but make sure you stay active on here, cause we need all the great info a piece of mind that comes from experienced users like you :)

All the best, hope you find a way to make it work

Ken

[paddyob]

Man. I really appreciate some of the comments you guys have made. I know sometimes I can be vocal and cheese you guys off, but thanks. Thanks for a glimmer of hope my tank might survive a baby.

Makes a crusty day a little better.

Not sure yet. But lots To consider.

A tad depressed about the thought of shutting down. You guys really made my day with some great input.

Thanks. You have no idea what it actually means. I do t know most of you personally, but I spend more time on here with you guys than a lot of others in my life. Reef nerd I am.

But really, thank you.

[Aquattro]

Not sure if you read my random thought speil about kids. We had a daughter, premature by 3.5 months, spent the next 168 days at the hospital, going home occasionally to feed the fish and four dogs, house/yardk work, etc. She, Elise, has paralysed vocal chords and breaths through a trach tube. We have to do daily maintenance for this, as well as learn and teach sign language. Since she came home, we've had a nurse in-house every evening to help out and make sure she keeps breathing.
I also have to keep the dogs busy, 2 border collies, and aussie and a pitbull. That's a lot of work. We're both involved in various dog sports, which take a fair amount of time.
Through all this, I've been able to keep the tank going, and often the tank is the thing that lets me chill at the end of the day. Keeping the tank comes down to "where there's a will, there's a way". I'm glad I have my tank, even those weeks I don't see it with the lights on. IMO, well worth the extra effort. Unless you're totally sick of corals, you'll miss it more than you hate it now :)
And a small little child isn't going to disrupt your life unless you let them...

[paddyob]

I love my tank. My wife evens says more than the people around me.

It just worries me it will become a nightmare tank. Three Aiptasia stress me now. One that is taken down out of neglect is not what i want.



I never read your post before. Sorry things. Are not easy in the respect of your baby.

We were told our baby had a chance Of downs syndrome back in the beginning. And I guess it kinda hit me. Or crushed me. Things look ok in the pics now, but you never know until you meet them.

Maybe I am just having some anxiety. We all want the best and maybe i overplan for the worst.

Thanks for sharing.




Not sure if you read my random thought speil about kids. We had a daughter, premature by 3.5 months, spent the next 168 days at the hospital, going home occasionally to feed the fish and four dogs, house/yardk work, etc. She, Elise, has paralysed vocal chords and breaths through a trach tube. We have to do daily maintenance for this, as well as learn and teach sign language. Since she came home, we've had a nurse in-house every evening to help out and make sure she keeps breathing.
I also have to keep the dogs busy, 2 border collies, and aussie and a pitbull. That's a lot of work. We're both involved in various dog sports, which take a fair amount of time.
Through all this, I've been able to keep the tank going, and often the tank is the thing that lets me chill at the end of the day. Keeping the tank comes down to "where there's a will, there's a way". I'm glad I have my tank, even those weeks I don't see it with the lights on. IMO, well worth the extra effort. Unless you're totally sick of corals, you'll miss it more than you hate it now :)
And a small little child isn't going to disrupt your life unless you let them...

[Nano]

I hear ya both. We are expecting a little girl in early may late April, and while we haven't heard of any complications with her specifically, my wife is no longer able to work from her own complications being pregnant, and because of her complications the baby is at risk too. So I work clean cook take care of the pets etc. It's a lot to take in. Especially at my age. I'm still a young buck so its a bit nerve racking at times, but at the end of the day I sit and look at the fish for a few, and see my family and what we've made together, and its all worth the work

[Aquattro]

I never read your post before. Sorry things. Are not easy in the respect of your baby.



I guess my point is this. Things are easy. We make them easy. We have stuff to deal with, and we just do it. There's no going back or changing, so enjoy the ride. And the tank for me is part of the ride.
Regardless of what happens, life is what you make it. Don't let a bit of anxiety throw you off. It's going to be as easy or as hard as you make it. We took ours to Costa Rica in December, we had a fabulous time. Sure, it presents some challenges, but you just get it done. She's a perfect kid, and whether your kid is perfect or not medically, they'll be perfect to you and you just do what you have to do.

[bignose]

Pat shut up and give your head a shake! If I don't have someone else to do this hobby with I'm gonna quit too.

edit. I didn't read the whole thread. I hope I'm not being insensitive.

I have a little ones also don't worry Pat everything will be ok. When you hold your baby for the first time you will be high on life and you will understand.

[paddyob]

Pat shut up and give your head a shake! If I don't have someone else to do this hobby with I'm gonna quit too.

edit. I didn't read the whole thread. I hope I'm not being insensitive.

I have a little ones also don't worry Pat everything will be ok. When you hold your baby for the first time you will be high on life and you will understand.

Leave it to Jason to lighten the mood. Lol.

[bignose]

Did you shake your head? :)
If you have the need to lighten the load I would shut down your nano.

edit Pat if you ever need help with your tanks or anything really just let me know.

[paddyob]

Did you shake your head? :)
If you have the need to lighten the load I would shut down your nano.

edit Pat if you ever need help with your tanks or anything really just let me know.

I know Jay. Thanks man.

That tank is easy... but it has been considered. It is in my room of solace.. aka the "yet other hobby" room... guitars. And houses my Mandarin. Which is my favorite fish. Which would be hard to part with. I have considered adding my Mandy to the 70... but so many people think its a bad idea.... that I question it. I might. It is living in a 20... it would love the 70. Just worry about my big ass six line.

[paddyob]

You can only have so many "top priorities"

I totally agree. And that is the problem.

[The Grizz]

My turn to chime in Pat,

I have 450 gals in 3 tanks ( soon to be 600 gals in 3 tanks ), 13 huskies ATM, 5 acres to maintain, some renos happening, 2 grand kids on the way & trying to rebuild my company from the ground up since my partner screwed me over. As well as helping others build there own systems.

I think a few of the best things I have done in regards to my tanks is to simplify things. I refil my ATO once a week, drain my skimmer every other week ( so to be a long period with the addition of a skim locker ) controllers on all 3 tanks and getting a doser set up.

In total I think I spend maybe 2hrs a week doing something to all the tanks combined. They are not as spotless and spectacular as as so many others but it works for me. So maybe you just need to simplify down to a single decent size tank with your favorite suff in it. Don't let the new baby stress you out and enjoy life, family & your hobbies.

[FragIt Dan]

+1 on The Grizz's comments. I too have multiple tanks, dog, two rental houses, travel for work, have a two year old and one due in July. My tanks provide me a great deal of therapy, and are cheaper than the going rate for a shrink:). They were/are also very calming for my son when he was born and I expect will be so for baby #2 shortly. I have had times where it is too much, and the tanks have suffered, but I always manage to find some time eventually and bring them back up. I had much the same decision to make recently and opted to go ATO and dosing pumps on my three tanks to free a bit of time up for me. Hopefully you will find a way to keep the tanks, but either way, you will have a great family and can always come back to the tanks later. Best of luck with your decision,
Dan

[christyf5]

You can do it, it really doesn't take all that much time to keep your tank running. I always say, reefing can take as much time as you want to put into it. I used to spend a considerable amount of time puttering with the tank but with the addition of a new baby (now 14 months) tank time has taken a dive in the ratings but I manage to get everyone fed and water changes done on the weekends. A lot of tank maintenance can get done after 7pm when the kid goes to bed, although I hate doing it that late as stupidity usually ensues (late night water alarms, skimmers overflowing or the worst: I adjust the rockwork:razz:).

[Dez]

Either way, it's up to you. I took a 5 year break and it was great. I waited until my kids were 3 and 4 before starting up again. I just made sure I set up my new tank to be as maintenance free and easy as possible. Now I really don't do much to the aquarium except for glass every 3 days and a water change once a week (7 mins). Ultimately, the decision is yours as you know your situation best.

[kien]

I always say, reefing can take as much time as you want to put into it.

My sentiments exactly. I'm a lazy reefer so I don't want to spend too much time on my tank. However, at the same time I don't want my tank to look like @$$. So..

I set up my new tank to be as maintenance free and easy as possible.

.. after a 2 year break from the hobby this is what I did as well. In my first stab at the hobby years back my tank was all sorts of pain and suffering with all sorts of maintenance. After some time off I got back in to it but this time I decided that although it will be expensive, more expensive than any previous tanks that i've had, it will be well worth the monetary investment to throw equipment at the tank to help reduce maintenance time on the tank. Think opportunity costs! Controllers, dosers, monitors, etc, all well worth it to me.

Some people manually top off their water and manually dose a few chems here and there and say they have a simple and low maintenance system. Some people would consider that very complex and high maintenance system. In the end it is all relative.

[christyf5]

My sentiments exactly. I'm a lazy reefer so I don't want to spend too much time on my tank. However, at the same time I don't want my tank to look like @$$. So..


I just don't ever invite anyone over and post only macro shots of the tank and FTS from really far away :razz:

[kien]

I just don't ever invite anyone over and post only macro shots of the tank and FTS from really far away :razz:

This is a good reefing strategy that I subscribe to as well. There are usually at least two or three polyps on every SPS colony that look fabulous! The rest of the colony is another story :lol:

when I invite people over they can only view the tank from the front yard.

http://i1002.photobucket.com/albums/af144/muzanji/IMG_0118.jpg

I just pray to Baby Jesus that the visitor doesn't have a telephoto lens.

[lastlight]

well that looks familiar!

[Flash]

pat don't do it!!! i know how crazy life can be. i have 3 dogs (1 puppy.. counts as a baby) a bestfriend roommate, a wife, 5 cats, 4 geckos, 3 saltwater tanks and a house that I take care of as well... and I have to finish my basement.... I took a break a while back and hated walking into my house and not seeing the beauty that is salt water... worst comes to worst, have someone hang onto your tank/tanks for you that has room... that way you don't have to sell it... PLUS... keeping it might be calming for the baby!! lol

[naesco]

I think the issue is what is in the best interest of the fish and coral you keep.
If you cannot spend the time to provide them with optimum care than it is time to take a break and get back into it when you can.

There is a positive side to this decision.

1. You get to set up a bigger tank.
2. You get to buy the latest greatest technology.
3. I may have retired by then.

[paddyob]

I think the issue is what is in the best interest of the fish and coral you keep.
If you cannot spend the time to provide them with optimum care than it is time to take a break and get back into it when you can.

There is a positive side to this decision.

1. You get to set up a bigger tank.
2. You get to buy the latest greatest technology.
3. I may have retired by then.




If you retire ... Who do I get to banter with? Lol.

[SauceBoss]

Set aside a block of time for just looking at it every night with a good stiff drink :)
this

[Skimmerking]

This is a good reefing strategy that I subscribe to as well. There are usually at least two or three polyps on every SPS colony that look fabulous! The rest of the colony is another story :lol:

when I invite people over they can only view the tank from the front yard.

http://i1002.photobucket.com/albums/af144/muzanji/IMG_0118.jpg

I just pray to Baby Jesus that the visitor doesn't have a telephoto lens.

Show off :lol: