Warning!!

[sharuq1]

Subject: Drug warning for 18 and over

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, partygoers and unsuspecting pub regulars to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.
A date rape drug on the market called "beer" is used by many females to target unsuspecting men.
The drug is generally found in liquid form and is now available almost anywhere.
It comes in bottles, cans, from taps and in large "kegs."
"Beer" is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them.

Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of "beer" and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach.
After several "beers" men will often succumb to desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking "beer" men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that something bad occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings in a familiar scam known as "a relationship."


It has been reported that in extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage."
Apparently, men are much more susceptible to this scam after "beer" is administered and sex is offered by the predatory female.

However, if you fall victim to this insidious "beer" and the predatory women administering it, there are male support groups with venues in every town where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like-minded guys.

For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the yellow pages. (As a side note GOLF: stands for "gentlemen only-ladies forbidden) :razz:



PS: mods if this post is a little too racy for this board please remove :)

[Marlin65]

LOL good thing I only drink rum.

[Canuckgod420]

I hate to admit......I have fallen for this so called "beer" trap:redface:

[Ya Dude]

Oh man, I think I got scammed by yo Mama!

[christyf5]

Oh man, I think I got scammed by yo Mama!


:rofl:

[iansfishy]

Wait a second. I posted not long ago about getting screwed out of some money by another canreefer ( chester mihalicz) of Regina, And it got removed because someone deemed my thread " irrelivent". Not to get down on you, you obviously put some time into this but whats a guy have to do to be able to post and not have it removed, especially when it is completely off topic? Jack my post count over 1000+? Reply to every thread ever posted? Im not saying dont post unrelated threads, really I could care less, but someone please tell me why some threads are removed and others are not. I understand the job of the mod's but come on really?...
Anyway this is pretty funny, good on ya! I guess that explains why I've never had a "ten" but I've had five "2"s!

[globaldesigns]

What? Where?

I am married with 2 children. Just call me Al Bundy...

I don't get it, so tell me which club/bar/pub to go too... I need some action.

DISCLAIMER: If my wife is on here, or if one day see looks over my shoulder while I am surfing canreef, I AM JUST KIDDING.:biggrin:

[sharuq1]

iansfishy: In reply to your comment this is the "lounge". We can post irrevelant, silly, off-topic things in the lounge as long as they aren't offending anyone. (If anything I have posted is offensive I would actually appreciate it being taken down.)

I thought about whether I should post this seeing as I was trying to put a little "haha" onto the board and now this whole thread is going to be tainted with this downer post. I do sympathize with what happened to you.

I also had a couple similar bad experiences with forum members who I will not name--but with all due respect these silly joke posts of mine are just for enjoyment--they aren't to hurt anyone, out anyone, argue with anyone, etc. That sort of thing is best taken care of privately over e-mail--leaving Canreef out of it (Wouldn't it suck if Canreef was taken offline because of member disputes?)

If your posts were removed then someone was most likely either offended by it or the moderator simply doesn't want the entire forum involved in the dispute. These days disputes can get legal--legal action could mean the end of this board. This forum is for us to enjoy.

Anyways, sorry fellow Canreefers for posting this downer when I was trying to help you smile. For you mods, thanks for keeping this a pleasant place to be.

[sharuq1]

Makes me glad I don't drink beer :lol:

[Aquattro]

iansfishy: In reply to your comment this is the "lounge". We can post irrevelant, silly, off-topic things in the lounge as long as they aren't offending anyone

If your posts were removed then someone was most likely either offended by it or the moderator simply doesn't want the entire forum involved in the dispute.

correct on both counts. Thanks for the chuckles :)

[iansfishy]

sorry, wasn't trying to bring down your thread. its nice to have non reef topics on here , I was simply saying that there seems to be a HUGE grey area as to what some people deem as relavent, offensive or otherwise. Your thread is funny, as are your others.

[Myka]

Here I thought it was my homemade Chicken Cordon Bleu that did it. I am dumbfounded.

[o.c.d.]

sorry, wasn't trying to bring down your thread. its nice to have non reef topics on here , I was simply saying that there seems to be a HUGE grey area as to what some people deem as relavent, offensive or otherwise. Your thread is funny, as are your others.
:laluot_08:

[golf nut]

GOLF: stands for "gentlemen only-ladies forbidden)

This is not true, but the rest of your post is pretty accurate.

[Ron99]

OMG, I think I have been a victim of this!

Here I thought it was my homemade Chicken Cordon Bleu that did it. I am dumbfounded.

Chicken Cordon Bleu has a similar but weaker pharmacological effect. However, if combined with beer or wine the effect is exponential :lol:

[fishoholic]

:laugh: Thanks for the laughs :biggrin:

[Skimmerking]

i knew it laurie tried that with me ,but using water lol. and mindy if you make homemade cordon blue what time is supper at....:biggrin:

[Lance]

The flip side of this, is of course a HOT CAR with nice soft tires to nibble on. :wink:

[PoonTang]

Now if I could only find something to use on women so they could drink ME pretty instead.

[Skimmerking]

When in doubt knock her out!!!!!!!!!!!

[Boomboy]

When in doubt knock her out!!!!!!!!!!!

:pound::pound::tea::rofl2::rofl:

[mark]

I am currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been having some problems lately.

I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it.

I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is turned off. But I'm embarrassed to say I can't find the switch to turn the sound off.

I just run them separately, and it works okay.

GirlFriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Fishing 97 program, often trying to abort Fishing 97 with some sort of timing incompatibility.
I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0.

Aftermonths of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0.

He said I probably didn't have enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and eventually it would require a TokenRing to run properly.
He was right. As soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself.
Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave me a virus anyway.

I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while.
I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program.
It workedokay for a while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system.

I tried running GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature I didn't know about that automatically senses the presence of any other version of GirlFriend and communicates with it in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both versions.
The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in some obscure language I can't understand, much less reprogram.

Frankly I think there is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather than the desired functionality.

Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you usually have to use gold-plated contacts.

And I've never liked how GirlFriend is totally "object-oriented."
A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version ofGirlFriend.

He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0.

So he did, but soon after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0 which he describes as a huge resource hog. It has taken up all his space, so he can't load anything else.

One ofthe primary reasons he decided to go with Wife 1.0 was because it came bundled with FreeSexPlus.
Well, it turns out the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus, particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted to try.
On top of that, Wife1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything.

Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw which has an automatic pop-up feature he can't turn off.

I told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself.
Then Mistress 1.0 won't install anyway because of insufficient resources.

Any Ideas?

[fishoholic]

Mark you forgot Husband 1.0


Letter to complaint dept.

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower, and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1

and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system.
Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose utility is of limited effectiveness. Can you help please!!!!

Jane

Dear Jane:

This is a very common problem women complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0 , because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed.
Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0 In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications, or to get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0. Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support".

You will notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3
I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system. Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). This a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system. Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command "C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME" Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.

TECH TIP!

Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C:\ APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, Beer 6.0 Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and Snoring Loudly wave files that are very hard to delete.

Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran .
Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance.
I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly. After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as FixesBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.

A final word of caution!
Do NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application, and will cause selective shut down of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled. I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!

[Skimmerking]

OMG this is freaking funny DONT FORGET ABOUT THE COMMAND BUTTONS
CONTROL HIT KICK WILL FIX THEM ALL>