More new rules

[Aquattro]

Based on several people's posts, suggesting board traffic is tied to some apparent new rule, I did some digging. Turns out that yes, that must be true.

After implementing a new rule, board traffic increased about 30%

So, after giving it some thought, and people's desire to see more posts, I'm proposing we implement some new rules to boost stats.

Let's here what you've got for suggestions!!


Here's my first - All members, to remain in good standing, must post something at 1:43am at least one Saturday morning in each month. Some people are up and need to feel love from the board. This will increase our over night posts and give insomniacs something to do, because you know, the tank lights went out hours ago!

[Aquattro]

Life without balance is no life at all. To counter the new rule above, each member, to remain in good standing, must NOT log into the board over night one Fri/Sat evening a month, and instead go downtown and drink cold beer in excess. Pics must be posted the following day (after 2pm) to prove compliance.

Pic must include beer, at least 2 friends and the scantily clad girl 2 tables over. Some exceptions may apply depending on table location.

[don.ald]

Sexism "scantily clad girls only"

[Aquattro]

Picture rule. Most pics are fine and do not need altering, as most people have rectangular tanks. 800x1200 pics are suitable.

However, if you post pics of cube tanks, we now ask that pics are resized to 800x800.
Although rare, circular tanks are available, and should you need assistance with posting a round pic, please contact staff (or other friend owning photoshop) to have pic reformatted to match tank.
Nano tank pics cannot be any larger than 100x200 pixels, based on the above formatting guidelines.
For very large tanks, 2 posts are allowed to span the vastness of said tank.

Top down pics must be posted flat. Still working out the specifics on that one, stay tuned.

[Aquattro]

Sexism "scantily clad girls only"

Favoring the majority of the board, however you are correct. If you should also find scantily clad men that you want to post, by all means. Canreef and it's staff are not responsible for any backlash of said pics.

[Aquattro]

Further to back up this new theory, Rick above had not otherwise posted since May. This is working exactly as designed.

Thank you Rick for your contribution!! We love you. Just not that way..

[don.ald]

Define scantily
Remember to be clear and transparent with these rules

[don.ald]

Further to back up this new theory, Rick above had not otherwise posted since May. This is working exactly as designed.

Thank you Rick for your contribution!! We love you. Just not that way..

Yup, been busy with my API testing

[Aquattro]

Define scantily
Remember to be clear and transparent with these rules

Sorry, I'm new at this. I would suggest that "scantily" describes more than 50% of bare skin exposed. Exceptions to this will be considered for "spot scant". Some variance is acceptable in this definition.

[Aquattro]

Yup, been busy with my API testing

Great contribution.

Should you post anything inquiring about your horrible algae outbreak, AND are using API kits, these kits must be clearly identified in said post so that nobody really takes the post seriously.
Exceptions would apply for NH3 readings.

[don.ald]

Great contribution.

Should you post anything inquiring about your horrible algae outbreak, AND are using API kits, these kits must be clearly identified in said post so that nobody really takes the post seriously.
Exceptions would apply for NH3 readings.

First sexism now testism

[Aquattro]

First sexism now testism

Reefers are an elitist group. Get over it.

[Aquattro]

All members, to remain in good standing, must log in and be active before 7am at least 1 morning per month to entertain anyone that may be logged in and bored.
(Rick, thank you for your compliance in this matter.)

[Aquattro]

Participation is important in this community.

Going forward, staff will watch for usernames currently logged in. We will post random names in the Lounge. If you do not recognize said post, you weren't paying attention and will be deleted. Please bear in mind that staff can see your status even if you are set to invisible. We will find you.

Lurking hurts everybody..

[Aquattro]

Any member found to be rolling eyes and muttering profanities AFTER reading this thread title and BEFORE reading thread will be publicly mocked. There are no exceptions to this rule. None.

[Aquattro]

Interesting. Since posting our new rules above, logged in users has increased significantly. At this rate, we're going to need bigger servers. I knew this was going to work!

[Aquattro]

Drunk Posting: Just don't. You know who you are..

[Aquattro]

Drunk Posting: Just don't. You know who you are..

Nevermind, it is kinda funny :)

[Myka]

Having fun? :D

[Dearth]

monthly, weekly, daily bribe to favourite moderator?

[Aquattro]

Having fun? :D

Life is about having fun. It's what I do.

[Myka]

Life is about having fun. It's what I do.

Me too! Yesterday I had fun with aquascaping... err... :neutral:

[Aquattro]

All signature blocks, going forward, must have your real name and a copy of passport photo.
If you do not have a passport photo (seriously??) please include a hand drawn facsimile of your likeness.

[Aquattro]

Me too! Yesterday I had fun with aquascaping... err... :neutral:

We support this whole heartedly. (is that a word?). People that do not go out and enjoy the summer are our top members. Summer comes every year, but reefing is right now. Live it. Love it.

[Myka]

All signature blocks, going forward, must have your real name and a copy of passport photo.
If you do not have a passport photo (seriously??) please include a hand drawn facsimile of your likeness.

Here`s mine...

https://shafali.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/cartoon-caricature-adolf-hitler-devil-hell-nazi-dictator-germany-holocaust.jpg

[Aquattro]

Here`s mine...

https://shafali.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/cartoon-caricature-adolf-hitler-devil-hell-nazi-dictator-germany-holocaust.jpg

Just as I remember you. But older. And less cute.

[Myka]

Just as I remember you. But older. And less cute.

It's the mustache, isn't it?

[Aquattro]

It's the mustache, isn't it?

kinda sexy.

[Myka]

kinda sexy.

Hitler tickler. It's a thing.

[Aquattro]

Hitler tickler. It's a thing.

Ya. Not MY thing, but whatever floats your boat.

[Aquattro]

And don't you work here?? Can we get some rules please? Always mucking around. Get to work.

[Myka]

Ya. Not MY thing, but whatever floats your boat.

I thought we were sinking?

[Aquattro]

I thought we were sinking?

We were. But I made those new rules and we have 21 more members logged in now. We're growing again!!!

[Myka]

And don't you work here?? Can we get some rules please? Always mucking around. Get to work.

New rule: All members selling frags must PM photos to me of all pale-skinned Acros being offered so I can pre-approve. ;)

[Aquattro]

New rule: All members selling frags must PM photos to me of all pale-skinned Acros being offered so I can pre-approve. ;)

Sorry, no discrimination based on skin color.

[Myka]

Sorry, no discrimination based on skin color.

I can't help it if I prefer albinos.

[Aquattro]

I can't help it if I prefer albinos.

um...hmm.

[Aquattro]

Crap. Gotta go to work. Carry on without me. You can do it.

[Myka]

Crap. Gotta go to work. Carry on without me. You can do it.

It's Saturday. Get a real job that doesn't make you work Saturdays.

[jorjef]

The musing of a man weaning himself from the self medicated haze necessary to endure the last ten years of patrolling the Interweb local that we...... Well you get it.

I laugh as not to cry... It's hard to watch. Be strong...... Be strong.

[Myka]

The musing of a man weaning himself from the self medicated haze necessary to endure the last ten years of patrolling the Interweb local that we...... Well you get it.

I laugh as not to cry... It's hard to watch. Be strong...... Be strong.

Yep, I think he's lost his marbles.

[Dearth]

He lost his marbles years ago he has been running on shiny objects since then easily distractable

[Aquattro]

It's Saturday. Get a real job that doesn't make you work Saturdays.

Double time. I'll make enough by noon to pay for all my salt for the year.

[Aquattro]

The musing of a man weaning himself from the self medicated haze necessary to endure the last ten years of patrolling the Interweb local that we...... Well you get it.




Are you watching me?? Weirdo.

[jorjef]

Are you watching me?? Weirdo.

Ya I'm a bit of a creeper. :biggrin:

[Aquattro]

Ya I'm a bit of a creeper. :biggrin:

uh-huh?

[Aquattro]

Holy!! We have over 50 more people now vs when I started adding new rules!! This is amazing. I'm gonna think up some more.

[jorjef]

uh-huh?

I don't get it .... Is it

Uh-huh. Surprise

Uh-huh. Really as in sarcastic question..

Uh-huh. Should have been exclamation point.

Uh-huh. As in regular uh-huh with a force of habit ?

[Aquattro]

I don't get it .... Is it

Uh-huh. Surprise

Uh-huh. Really as in sarcastic question..

Uh-huh. Should have been exclamation point.

Uh-huh. As in regular uh-huh with a force of habit ?

Yes. Exactly right.

[jorjef]

All things covered in seven easy key strokes. Nice work.

[Aquattro]

I like efficiency

[Aquattro]

Holy!! We have over 50 more people now vs when I started adding new rules!! This is amazing. I'm gonna think up some more.

61. We have 61 more people logged in due to the new rules in just 3 short hours. At this rate, we'll outgrow resources by dinner time!

[Dearth]

61. We have 61 more people logged in due to the new rules in just 3 short hours. At this rate, we'll outgrow resources by dinner time!

Now that is just plain silly talk.....

[Aquattro]

Now that is just plain silly talk.....

Stats don't lie. We have almost 100 more people on now than at 6am. The rules are working!! People love rules, as is plainly obvious.

[Dearth]

It's all bot controlled logins just to make you think you are winning :mrgreen:

[Aquattro]

It's all bot controlled logins just to make you think you are winning :mrgreen:

As long as I think it, it's true.

[somafish]

Did this whole thread just start this morning?

[Aquattro]

Did this whole thread just start this morning?

Yup. Isn't it awesome??

[WarDog]

Did this whole thread just start this morning?

Any member who does not read timestamps on threads shall be banned for a period no less that 24 hours, or until they provide proof they have learned to read said timestamp.

[Aquattro]

Any member who does not read timestamps on threads shall be banned for a period no less that 24 hours, or until they provide proof they have learned to read said timestamp.

I like it!

[Dearth]

Any member who does not read timestamps on threads shall be banned for a period no less that 24 hours, or until they provide proof they have learned to read said timestamp.

I only went to grade 12 do my English is rusty I've relied on the Internet to tell me everything because it never lies

[Aquattro]

Canreef is sinking again, need some more rules, quick!! We just lost 20 logins

[WarDog]

Any member who was previously flooding the Livestock buy/sell forum is required to continue posting items for sale, up to, and including the new limits. We know you have sexy coral and we know who you are. :wink:

[don.ald]

Canreef is sinking again, need some more rules, quick!! We just lost 20 logins

lurkers only, get extra posts in the livestock buy and sell

[Myka]

lurkers only, get extra posts in the livestock buy and sell

:lol: Clever. I like clever.

[Ram3500]

Drunk Posting: Just don't. You know who you are..

I think all drunk posting or pms offenders. Should have mandatory breathalyzer test before login . :drinking: For their protection

[Bblinks]

Sweet! I comply with everything! I am on my way to become a premium member! What else do I need to do, just tell me. Ill jump when you say jump and even give you a song and dance!

[Aquattro]

Rich, my friend, you have always been a premium member. Thank you.

[Bblinks]

Rich, my friend, you have always been a premium member. Thank you.

Thank you for your confirmation.

[Trigger Man]

hmmm, well this thread was a few minutes I'll never get back . . .

But it got you a extra view

[StirCrazy]

I think Brad is just padding his post count again

[kien]

New posting rule. While we permit posting while intoxicated, we must see proof of intoxication. This is so that we know that you are actually intoxicated and not just a crazy person. Crazy persons masquerading as drunk posters will not be tolerated and will be severely dealt with.

Thank you all for your cooperation.

[Doug]

:drinking: